There comes a time in everyone's life where they begin to have feelings for the opposite sex or even the same sex, but seeing how I'm not a homosexual i don't believe I'm in any position to talk about gay relationships. This is a personal experience and currently going through it.

Its was not two months ago that i entered into a new environment with a new community of people of different backgrounds, races and beliefs, and its undeniable that i expected myself to start having feelings towards a girl.

And its was never my intention or aim to like a girl, its was just expected that someone would catch my attention, be it strong or little feelings for the girl, the liking was still there. And it was unfortunate that the girl i had my eyes on was attached.

Which comes to my issue, the girl so happens to be Malay, and being a Chinese, it was never really condoned by the majority of the community for a Malay girl to be with a Chinese guy as inevitably, the guy HAS to convert to Islam, not everyone is willing to go that far, i always thought it was a ridiculous requirement and belief, what right does the religion have to enforce such rules? Are they saying only a person of the same religion is worthy to marry the person?

As much as i respect all religions, it just goes beyond my comprehension when you think about it logically, me being a Atheist, none of this beliefs apply and controls the way i lead my life, but if you were to let a religion tell you whats right and whats wrong, what you can do and what you cant, are you living your own life, you have you put your life in the hands of something else?

Every thought that passes through your mind will be judged by your so-called belief, be it negative or positive, free your minds of these constraints that limit your capabilities and thoughts, for they will only hold you back. Thats why even people from whichever religions that forbid them to drink or smoke, they still do so, its a matter of choice, what right does the religion have to stop you from doing what you want?

Are you trying to say your God is a nit-picking God? He has certain expectations and requirements before you can enter his kingdom or heaven? I wouldn't want to be under anyone who laid down strict and details rules on how to lead my life, everyone has their freedom, its our given right, we have free will, and whatever we choose to do it should be by our own will, not someone else's.

The girl that i am fond of i could never let her know as even though we are friends, i already know the probable outcome, lets face it, you may think "your thinking too far ahead" but lets be real here, whichever relationship you go into, unless you are a person who likes to fool around with girls, you probably will be going in for the long run, hoping this relation would lead to future and a secure happiness.

Their religion would force any Chinese to convert into Islam, regardless of their current religion in order to marry the Malay girl, even if the relationship doesn't last that long or till the point we want to marry, I will never allow myself to do something where i already know the ending, in this case a bad ending, why would anyone want to put themselves to such pain? Isn't it better to stop before even going in to prevent future pains or suffering?

Even so, I would still cherish the opportunity to be with the girl and its only through here where I can express myself without being judged.
Its here where only those who want to even try to understand, will.