It sure has been a long time hasn't it?

What has changed? Nothing of significance I would assume.
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What do people all around the world seek once they reach a certain point in their life? Companionship? Money? A sense of security? A sense of purpose?

Well as it depends on the individual and one cannot predict what a person wants truly, I would like to talk about companionship.
We all seek companionship in many forms, friends, family, lover, girlfriend,boyfriend, well you get the idea.

When one is alone, what do you want most? Someone to be there with you, someone to talk to, to be needed and wanted for your company, that gives us a sense of purpose and belonging. Knowing that someone out there acknowledges your existence and appreciates it.

Why do people say they don't mind being alone? These people often distract themselves from the reality of their lonesome by doing things that are insignificant and mean little.

But at the end of the day, when they lay down onto their beds, they will all wonder about their day, was it purposeful? Was it fulfilling? They all wished they had someone to be with or talk to.

Everyone has friends for sure, the number does not matter, but would they be there forever?
Are you really content with friends that you just causally talk to, not being able to share you inner feelings or opinions?

They say that's what your family is for, but there are just certain things you can't share with your family, at the end of the day, they are still human. Just because they are your family doesn't make them more understanding or more caring than anyone else, it becomes more of a obligation and necessity than because they want to.

I seek companionship often, to find people who understood and have a perspective on things are questioned when things should be questioned. These people make a difference in my life and if only more of such people existed.

When a guy goes for a girl, people say the guy is lustful and there is only one thing in his mind, sex. That may be true in a few cases but that doesn't mean besides the sex we are not interested in anything else about the girl, if we only cared about the sex we would be fucking every girl that gave us the green light.

Personally I always felt a girlfriend should also be a friend, best friend, and girlfriend. After all, the term "Girlfriend" is but a title, it does not mean because you and your partner have "officially" become boyfriend or girlfriend you would immediately have a heightened level of understanding and care for the other person.

People mistake such titles as a form of showing people we are close and we understand each other. Do you? I've seen countless couples who get together and claim they are together now when i clearly see a lack of understanding with each other.

An impulsive act of trying to have someone to call upon in your time of lonesome perhaps, but when something happens that over time each other's "true colors" start to emerge and if you are not prepared or are not able to understand, conflicts of interests will cause the relation to change into something else.
Something that neither one would have expected or foreseen due to their impulsive act of "getting together".

This kind of relationships has hence set the mindset of people into believing never to rush into a relationship. It may be true in many cases but what about the handful of people who has an higher level of emotion and logic? Should they suffer the same fate of the lesser beings? Why should they be treated the same and not given a fair chance to show what they can truly offer?

It is something no one can change but I felt people should realize people like that exist who can be trusted and they would understand. Not everyone can perceive things easily and view them from varying perspective but if you do come to find someone like that, hopefully you would come to keep them by your side as a friend or more.

In affairs of the heart, stay composed and rational. And you will never regret any decision you make. Think and feel before you act.

to whoever still visits, update soon. been busy lately

An enabler is a person who through his or her actions allows someone else to achieve something.

A handful of people claim they are independent and some could agree with them, but independent in what way? The general understanding of independent usually means the person is not dependent on anyone financially or can support oneself without the help of other people.

But they are certainly dependent on one thing are friends unless he prefers solitude. There are people who are who they are because of their friends. If you are by nature a outspoken person but if your peers are all quiet people, there is no one there to talk similar to you and if you were the only one doing so, it would be awkward, hence in that scenario there is no one enabling you to be able to be who you are, without someone else with an outspoken personality to crack the situation up, you probably wouldn't be able to manage it alone without feeling weird or awkward.

There are also people who are kind hearted, but due to feeling awkward, in the event of say, an old lady needing help with bags of groceries, person A would hesitate even thought he know he needs and want to help, but a handful of people just wait for others to step in before they themselves go forward to help, in that case that person A is being enabled by another person into helping that old lady. If not for that second person, person A would probably have hesitated even longer, such situations are rare of course.

Other types of enabling requires more careful observation to actually notice, such as a maybe fairly outspoken annoying person continuously makes fun of a guy in class, obviously at that persons expense, why would that outspoken person do such a thing? Could be he is just childish? I think it goes beyond that, calling him simply childish is still saving him his dignity. He did it because it makes him feel better about himself, knowing he can put someone down and that person cannot do anything about it.

Usually its a subconscious act, the outspoken person himself would know the real reason behind his actions, but deep down, in his subconscious mind, he is doing it to satisfy his craving for attention and the need to know he has power over people. People like this often lack the confidence, as I've seen many people, including my own friends, who seem so outspoken during normal lessons, often making fun of the "little" guys, at first glance it would seem they are brimming with confidence and pride. But when put in front of the class for a little presentation or role play, they all turn into the most shyest person you would probably ever meet.

In those cases you can clearly see, the only reason they were so outspoken and "appeared" to be brimming with confidence is because they were being enabled by their classmates, for every time they make fun of the "little" guy, everyone laughs and they get what they want, peoples attention and the feeling of power.

At times these enablers can push us to do things we usually wouldn't. If for example, you were in a camp, and you had to do something silly, if the crowd did not cheer you on but just stood there and watch, not a chance in hell you would do it without feeling death was a better choice. But then the speaker would hype up the crowd to have them cheer you on, seeing people cheer you on gives you the confidence and a sense of purpose like you are doing it for the crowd.

Or if you were the sort to not study, and if not for the girl you liked studying in the library as well, you probably would never willingly step in there. So for that chance to study with the girl, you push yourself to go there, and in the end you studied and scored even better AND achieved you goal of being around her. In that case, the girl was indirectly and unknowingly enabling you to study.

Bottom line is, some assholes are assholes only because you allow them to be, right from the start by not doing anything you have begun the cycle of enabling which gave them the green light to say or do whatever they see fit. These people NEED "little" people, without them, they would just wither and die, ignore those assholes and you would have saved not only yourself but also stopped enabling that asshole.

Stop being a tool and start becoming aware. Letting people take advantage of you even for the littlest reasons is stupid, those things add up and at the end of the day you are at the losing end.

Prejudice, its used to describe what people have when they form an opinion about someone or something without beforehand having any knowledge, thought, or reason.

People like to believe they are smart, all-knowing and aware. They so blindly believe in their own capabilities that they often forget to do a reality check, how much do you actually know? how much are they actually aware and in control of? are they even in control of their own thinking and actions?

People always have their first impressions on new people they meet, that doesn't mean you should let that impression affect the way you treat them, give people a chance to prove otherwise even if it was a bad impression.

Some people have stereotypes against people, when someone meets a new person, person A looks rugged, has long hair, and his sitting posture very sloppy. They would immediately categorize them as a hooligan or "bad boy" and most would avoid contact as they don't like these kind of people and assume they wouldn't be nice people to talk or hang out with depending on the kind of people the judge's are.

Their assumptions were based on the looks of the person and through that assumption they think that person A probably talks like a hooligan. Person A never had the chance to prove otherwise, even before he opens his mouth his peers are already prejudging him without even getting to know him better. Is that fair? Shouldn't everyone have a chance to show who they really are?

I've been prejudiced often as well, people take a look at me and assume I'm of the "hooligan" sort and tend to distant themselves away from my or seem even "afraid" to talk to me based on my looks, I can tell, the people who really know me react very different from the people who don't. Why am I not given the chance to show who I really am? Before I open my mouth and share with you my views or opinions they are already judged and classified as the view of a "hooligan" and if the person is of the more "innocent" type, he would not give that view or opinion a chance and forget it right after.

Few are actually capable of reading peoples body language and choice of words or the way they speak. Even fewer are 100% right when they make that guess based on that. I however strongly believe whenever I make that assumption on someone, its definitely not done within the first few seconds of meeting that person but over the course of our interactions. So far in my new environment I've made my own guesses on people before knowing them, and even after knowing them, I realized I was right. They were really assholes and childish people.

Some are so narrow-minded that all they see is whats before their eyes, such as the looks of the person or the talking style, they are unable to look beyond the obvious and see what lies beneath, people have told me "if only your friends got to know you better, they would be in for a surprise."

And for those who are often prejudiced, those who actually dared to get to know you better before judging you are worthy of being your friends, everyone else are just naive people who speak before they think. They are a waste of your time and if you have to change their view/perception of you just to be friends with them, your naive one, thinking their judgment can be changed. They clearly trust themselves more than you.
Deep down they would still view you as whatever they want, not as what you are.

Open up your minds and be aware that not everything is as it seems.

People lie, if you think there is one single man or woman that doesn't lie, I think you are being too naive.

People often lie to protect themselves from judgment, be it in the face of the law or in front of their peers. The lies may be white lies, but they are still lies, giving it a different name doesn't change the result of that lie or the reasons for it.

But what if someone lies to protect someone from their own ignorance? If already from past events the person A knows of person B's ignorance and telling him or her the truth, he knows that person can't handle or understand it? Is that a lie with telling? I think so, in my opinion I don't believe its fair to the person A that he or she is misunderstood for telling a truth that just because no one understands, is taken as nonsense and not taken seriously, person A may even be judged and outcasted because of he or her different points of view. Is that fair?

If telling a lie can save a persons pride and dignity, that is a lie worth telling. Not everyone can understand the truth and accept it for what it is, chances are people will avoid it and if they can't, they will use childish logic and immature sense to belittle that truth to save themselves the work or trying to understand it.

The ultimate question for me and everyone is, how can anyone tell them apart? How can we differ between a lie that has been told for the greater good or a lie for a selfish purpose? I think the only way is to weigh the factors of that current situation, to know both sides of the story. By knowing both sides chances are you will not be that biased and can come to a clean neutral assumption between them. Its takes extra effort but if the truth matters that much to you, you should be willing to go that extra mile.

I've told my fair share of lies, most of which for selfish purposes, but there is no benefit in telling the truth in which no one understands, I found it in my best interests to keep my mouth shut and my ears open. That way I can observe the people and read their actions, from there I decide if they are worth talking to at all, you may ask "who are YOU to be picking friends?", well I firmly believe " you are who you surround yourself with" and if i think a person is a ignorant fool, distancing myself from that person would be in my best interest no? Who wants to mix around with a ignorant fool which has no regard for anyone's else opinion but his/her own?

If lying can keep me away from people who can't understand the truth with a simple "I don't know", its worth it. People who don't understand the truth often seek it, they don't seek to understand, they seek to satisfy their own curiosity. It is a waste of time to entertain people like these, save your knowledge and wisdom for someone else, someone who deserves it more and will learn and understand it.

Lying to save yourself or protect others? That's the question you should ask yourself before you tell a lie, and ask yourself, can you sleep at night knowing the REAL reason behind that lie?

People say the last few moments before you drift off to sleep, you usually think about things, everyone does, you can't hide that fact from me. Its during these precious moments you are one with yourself, no one else but you in your mind, no exterior distractions. Its in these few moments you have a chat with yourself about yourself. Its within these few moments you get the opportunity to find out who you really are. Don't waste these few moments.

The feelings I have inside can never be expressed, no one would understand, no one can understand, I once let a few people get close to me, I ended up getting hurt in the end.

I trusted them with my true self but instead I was misunderstood. They didn't understand and started to become judgmental.
I once lost myself to love in the past but never again.

I can only wish someday you would understand me better than myself.
When will I find my one true love? No one believes in true love anymore, I hurts me so much that no one believes in the purest of things.

I liked it better when we were all innocent children, life was so much simpler, friends back then was better than friends now ten fold, we had no worries.

I feel hurt and wounded when I think about the people around me and how much they have lost themselves that they forget it was their past that made them who they are today.

I have trouble sleeping knowing that no one sees it through the eyes of a child anymore.
If you are not aware, at least don't be ignorant, be innocent, that way no one can blame you.

I hope you understand I am this way because it is me, I'm afraid to be judged by people who would never understand. Because I care about them and I don't want to lose them because of their own ignorance and inability to understand, its not fair to me.

Understand.

Everyone has friends, how many does not matter.

Why do people have/need friends? Some need friends for their support through difficult situations in their life, "through thick and thin" as people say. But some people just need friends to have company through various periods of their life, like schooling, its tough to survive in school with no friends, no one to eat, study, talk or hangout with, hence people form groups of friends of their own to prevent having no one to do these things with. But at the end of the schooling days, how many friends still stick together? keep in touch or even remember?

Some just make use of people, to not be alone, sort of like having them around only when you need them, but once you move on, you forget them and how they helped you through your times on "being alone" by being your friends, some do treat everyone like their real friends with the expectation they would not be forgotten. I make friends with that expectation, or rather hope that I would not be forgotten after the days of however we bonded, be it school or work. But it never fails to happen, people do forget one another and forget the time and effort people put into that friendship.

An example would be if not for your friend being there and studying together with you, helping you, would you have been able to pull through the exams? If not for your friends just BEING your friend and hanging out together would you have survived in school being a "loner"? People do extraordinary things without even thinking about the effects, just following a friend to a bus stop could seem to your friend a great deal or friendship as he is willing to give up his time to wait for your bus before leaving. Its not needed, your old enough, but yet its expected in a way because friends help each other and try not to make each other feel alone or left out. That's the general belief at least.

Yet some make use of friends, they may befriend certain people to use them and forget them after their use had run its course. There are people who befriend the, say, more hardworking or smarter people just in their period of need when they require their intelligence or knowledge to help them pull through their work or school. But once the hard times are over often people forget those who have helped them through those times and don't even appreciate the fact people gave up their time and effort to help you.

There are friends who remember, and in turn become lifelong friends, such as my good friend, 7 years we've been friends and its through appreciation and understanding that we remained friends, I knew so many people that after experiencing so much together, after we go our separate ways and move on in life, they forget, I didn't really expect to be remembered like a king, but at least don't act like we barely know each other? Weren't we together as friends when we did those things? Were we just stepping stones, just friends for that moment before you moved on to a place where we no longer were needed?

Remember your friends as they would probably remember you. I for one remember my friends and the experiences we had. They however may not.
They have come, and gone. What does it take to be remembered?
Do the little things in life not matter anymore?

Everyone has a mask. I don't mean it literally, a mask identity, a mask which helps them fit into the community or with their peers.

Each person has their own unique personality, lifestyle and views, but sometimes people change those things to fit in, keep a low profile or even stand out. There are people who's personality is that of a studious person, a hardworking and disciplined person, but when seeing other people such as maybe gangsters, or more of the rowdy sort of people in their class or peers, they change their way of thinking just to fit in, in a way, they view those people as "cool" and try their best to fit in by changing their style to match those people.

A classic example would be smoking, why do kids start so young? Some by peer pressure, which just means they want to be those people pressuring him as his friends that he gives in to them. That person just made a change in his life JUST to continue having those peers as his friends, what kind of person would you see him as? weak? Some just aren't able to make that better choice, they want to be seen as cool by his/her peers and in a effort to do so he/she picked up smoking.

Real friends would never force anyone to do anything they didn't want, friends look out for one another.

There are also people who show themselves to have a kind heart and to be caring from the start, till today I don't understand why they do that, when I speak to them one to one they show a totally different side which doesn't correspond to who I knew them to be, when I get to know them better it all seemed to be a facade hiding their true nature.

If from the start I knew you to be a person with a kind heart, I would treat you the same, if you show yourself to be a rowdy person and active, I would gladly befriend you as I'm the sort as well, but after getting to know certain people, my impression of them changed, they first showed themselves to be matured and understanding, but after awhile i realize it all seemed to be a show, an illusion that disappears when you get closer to them, why would they pretend to be something their not?

If you are an asshole from the start, continue, do you not have the self respect to be who you want to be? If i wanted to be a person with a kind heart, I would do so all the way, not because i want to impress people or to fit in, and when no ones looking or your with a different crowd you change into a irritating cunt . Have that dignity to be who you want to be, if you are a irritating person and people avoid you, if you know it, and change, that's good, I can accept that change, but if occasionally you revert back to your old irritating ways, you don't deserve my respect.

Respect is earned, no matter what type of respect it is, I respect people who dare to be who they want to be and not give in to peer pressure or just to fit in.

Stop putting on a mask. Be who you want to be and no one else.

Some think they have it, some have it but think they don't.
What would be the measure for wisdom?

Some people think with age comes wisdom along with it, and tend to act as though their actions and whatever they say are more logical and mature than those who are younger. These people often get too opinionated and rarely gives others a chance to share their views or opinions on any situation. In the event that they do allow other people's input, they often would belittle their point of view and thus ridicule them by making their way of thinking seem either childish or illogical.

The worst part of all this is that these situations are rarely 1 to 1 conversations, it is often in the company of people where the older person would ridicule the younger person when a opinion or perspective comes up which differs from the older person's. Hence the younger person feels in a way, shamed and "small", being humiliated in front of his/her peers. Truth be told, the "older" person does this for one single purpose, its undeniable unless you have another point of view, feel free to post it in the chat box, the "older" person does this to make him/herself feel better about themselves.

During these situations and you belittle someone in front of your peers and the other party is unable to do anything to you, you surely feel a sense of power and authority, a truly matured person would control that feeling and stop there, for not everyone is that smart, not everyone can understand, instead of belittling him/her and leaving him/her to feel shamed, the "older" party should in turn correct the person.

Wisdom does not come with age. If a 50 year old man who never leaves the house and stays at home all day, and one day speaks to you about life, would you take his word for it? He barely had a taste of the world beyond his home and the experiences that come with it. Is that considered wisdom? Wisdom can to anyone at almost any age, lets be real here, i'm not talking about toddlers or babies.

If a teenager goes through an experience which an older person only just experienced, the lessons learned are the same, the knowledge attained is the same. If the persons natural level of understanding is unable to learn from experience, then that person will never learn as his/her own ignorance prevents him/her so.

Its through experience wisdom and knowledge is gained, knowing the road and walking the road is different.

But if through experience you assume you are knowledgeable because you have experienced much, you are sorely mistake, it just means you learnt the wrong things and experienced the wrong things. If you were a gangster once, that experience, people who go through it might think they are terrifying and are fighters, that's the wrong kind of knowledge gained, if through gangsterism you learned to see the right way of life, that's a real lesson learned.

Age doesn't come with wisdom my friend and age doesn't give you power over anyone, if you continue you ways you will only meet people like yourself and will be forever stubborn and ignorant to your own mistakes as you are engulfed by your own arrogance.

There comes a time in everyone's life where they begin to have feelings for the opposite sex or even the same sex, but seeing how I'm not a homosexual i don't believe I'm in any position to talk about gay relationships. This is a personal experience and currently going through it.

Its was not two months ago that i entered into a new environment with a new community of people of different backgrounds, races and beliefs, and its undeniable that i expected myself to start having feelings towards a girl.

And its was never my intention or aim to like a girl, its was just expected that someone would catch my attention, be it strong or little feelings for the girl, the liking was still there. And it was unfortunate that the girl i had my eyes on was attached.

Which comes to my issue, the girl so happens to be Malay, and being a Chinese, it was never really condoned by the majority of the community for a Malay girl to be with a Chinese guy as inevitably, the guy HAS to convert to Islam, not everyone is willing to go that far, i always thought it was a ridiculous requirement and belief, what right does the religion have to enforce such rules? Are they saying only a person of the same religion is worthy to marry the person?

As much as i respect all religions, it just goes beyond my comprehension when you think about it logically, me being a Atheist, none of this beliefs apply and controls the way i lead my life, but if you were to let a religion tell you whats right and whats wrong, what you can do and what you cant, are you living your own life, you have you put your life in the hands of something else?

Every thought that passes through your mind will be judged by your so-called belief, be it negative or positive, free your minds of these constraints that limit your capabilities and thoughts, for they will only hold you back. Thats why even people from whichever religions that forbid them to drink or smoke, they still do so, its a matter of choice, what right does the religion have to stop you from doing what you want?

Are you trying to say your God is a nit-picking God? He has certain expectations and requirements before you can enter his kingdom or heaven? I wouldn't want to be under anyone who laid down strict and details rules on how to lead my life, everyone has their freedom, its our given right, we have free will, and whatever we choose to do it should be by our own will, not someone else's.

The girl that i am fond of i could never let her know as even though we are friends, i already know the probable outcome, lets face it, you may think "your thinking too far ahead" but lets be real here, whichever relationship you go into, unless you are a person who likes to fool around with girls, you probably will be going in for the long run, hoping this relation would lead to future and a secure happiness.

Their religion would force any Chinese to convert into Islam, regardless of their current religion in order to marry the Malay girl, even if the relationship doesn't last that long or till the point we want to marry, I will never allow myself to do something where i already know the ending, in this case a bad ending, why would anyone want to put themselves to such pain? Isn't it better to stop before even going in to prevent future pains or suffering?

Even so, I would still cherish the opportunity to be with the girl and its only through here where I can express myself without being judged.
Its here where only those who want to even try to understand, will.

Take a moment of your time and read, I know most would see the barrage of words and think "I ain't reading that much shit." If you are able to read and understand, it just means you have a heightened level of understanding and we are on the same page.

Today was just another day in the world, I always believed in my friends, I always hoped people would share the same views on friendship or sometimes "brotherhood", a term which has lost its meaning in the world due to people using the term without putting thought or meaning into it.

When someone speaks of brotherhood, do you really believe in it anymore? Its those days of our parents where friendship was so much more innocent and pure, now its everyone making use of everyone, you enable me, i enable you. There is rarely an occasion when someone does or says something out of purity of their heart, ulterior motives and agendas surround our everyday actions and speech, it is what binds us and controls us.

Most of us are not even aware of our actions, but if you took the time and asked yourself "why did i do it that way?" or "Why did i say that?"
Think hard enough and you will soon realize you did whatever you did or said whatever you said with a purpose, and whatever your purpose may be, it will probably for your personal gain.

If you are able to read into your OWN actions and tell yourself what you REALLY want, then whatever actions you take or whatever you say will inevitable work out one way or another, this of course cannot be applied to everything as the undeniable X-Factor in any situation may thwart your plans, the other party, they probably are not as aware of thier own actions are you are and will act unpredictably because he or she is unable to come to a realization on what he or she really wants, hence the random reaction, when i say random in this case it would not seem random, because majority of the population all has this lack of understanding.

And it is because of the fact most people are unaware that prevents us from furthering our own goals, when you do something, you expect the person to reciprocate somehow, or at least acknowledge and appreciate, but most won't, how can anyone continue doing what they are doing without any of these? Hope. It is what pushes me and many others, hoping ONE DAY, someone will acknowledge me and thank me, in whatever way, i will feel it and be contented.

Even those who blindly help and give endlessly to the needy but are never appreciated or thanked, when asked, they would surely say they don't need a thanks, its the right thing to do, indeed it is, no doubt about it, but somewhere deep inside that person's heart, lies that dying desire to be recognized for their efforts.

Be aware my friends, for I can only hope one day you will appreciate people more and acknowledge how much i treasure you as friends and you will do the same for me.

I always believed what interests people most is sorrow, anger, and fear, in such a case would most of my posts be about.

For everytime i come across a situation and i view it from a different perspective from others i will make a post, and naturally majority of the people would never post or talk about how great someone is, thats boring isnt it? Its the pain and suffering or the vices of the person that interests us and makes us remember them for them, regardless of the impacts that person may have on us.

This blog isnt to flame others, or to shame anyone, it is but a blog to show whoever reads it a different perspective on any given situation i encounter, its not a judgmental blog, nor a assuming blog, i post it as it is, if given any doubt enters my thoughts then i would never post it.

It would probably seem a little "emo" from time to time, but isnt that whats only worth posting?